As I firm up plans for the Spring Equinox ceremonies that I am co-creating with Pastor Bryan Sirchio at the McFarland United Church of Christ and Reverend Richard Bunch at Unity of Madison, I find myself reflecting on my journey with religion.
Neither myself, nor those that have known me for a long time would have ever guessed that some day I would be collaborating with pastors and reverends.
For a long time, the thought of anything church-like dredged up messages absorbed in childhood- that people like me DID NOT belong.
(Side note: I realize that my experiences were small potatoes compared to many, so please don’t feel like what I’m about to share is meant to imply that I think this path is so great, and that everyone should walk it. No path can be “The One” for everyone, and our vast variety of experiences and viewpoints is an integral piece to sharing in this human experience.)
ANYWHO- back to the story-
For a long time, I assumed all churches were basically the same:
I assumed that all pastors would berate and shame a teen single mom at their child's baptism like the pastor that baptized me did to my mom.
I assumed that I would be required to talk and look like someone I'm not, as was the case throughout my confirmation.
I assumed that I would be made to feel like I was doing something wrong if "the church people" knew I was into Paganism, as was my experience in high school (which, hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have written book reports on Pagan books... Perhaps I could have saved myself some trouble there.)
(tangent: I don't share any of this to judge anyone for their beliefs- as long as you're not causing harm and don’t impose your beliefs on others, you do you.)
I share this because, for a long time, all churches lived under the same umbrella in my mind- an umbrella in which it was made abundantly clear that people like me did NOT belong.
But then I started meeting some really heart centered people that proved me wrong. (Matt Winzeried, Tony Tucci, Dan Spransy, Neil Mathweg, Jennifer Briggs- I’m talkin’ about you.)
And THEN my husband circled back to Christianity a few years ago and decided to get re-baptized..
..I won't lie, that was really hard on us, and our relationship. It took us a while to find the happy place in which my shamanic beliefs and his more traditional Christian beliefs could peacefully co-exist.
There was a period of time that we were inches away from throwing in the towel..
BUT… we made it! Thank you to our wonderful Gottman certified therapist (thank you Gloria Bannasch!), who taught us systems for how to truly hear, see, understand and respect each other's views, how to inquire with curiosity, and how to kindly respect our differences.
AND THEN, I met Bryan Sirchio, the pastor at McFarland United Church of Christ. From there, my healing around church and religion has greatly accelerated.
The first time I met Bryan to talk about collaborating, I did not hold anything back- my experiences, my beliefs... I didn't want to be disrespectful, but I needed to be honest if we were going to do this.
I wondered if my frankness would cause him to say "Great, nice to meet you Jessica! I'll call you sometime.." then scratching the whole conversation from his memory.
But he was the opposite. He listened from his heart, and genuinely validated my experiences and feelings.
I quickly realized that Bryan held a much more expansive view on Christianity and spirituality, similar to my own. He had even taken shamanic training and had experience with shamanic healing.
Then I met the people at his congregation, and I realized, WOAH, there are so many people like Bryan!
And to step into that space and be ENCOURAGED and APPRECIATED for revealing my true self, no longer treated as if I was wrong or bad- it was so. deeply. healing
I was not just accepted in this space, I was celebrated.
And the story continues, as I recently began teaching the kiddos during Sunday services at Unity of Madison! Our classroom has become a fusion of Earth-based spirituality and Unity principles, which is pretty easy to do since the two intersect so beautifully, and I’m sure I will continue to learn and evolve in this space as I marry these different yet very similar views.
Soooo.. There's my story! Well, a lot of it.
I will be forever grateful for these opportunities to co-create these beautiful ceremonies that continue to nourish my soul on a deep level, and I hope it does the same for each person that joins us.
Thank you so much to Lori Frison and Trish Kalhagen for connecting Bryan and I. Thank you Josie Collins for telling me about Unity.
Thank you to everyone that’s attended our co-creations so far, for spreading the word about these ceremonies, and thank you to everyone that has encouraged me and walked with me on my journey.